Shalom from Jerusalem!
I just wanted to let everyone know that I got here safely, and have been having a GREAT time! If you’ve never been to Israel, you should definitely sign up for a few weeks with Bridges for Peace, Christian Friends of Israel, or Vision for Israel. You won’t be disappointed!
As for my job, I’m working in a food bank, and just the past 4 days have been far more rewarding than the last 6 years at my current job. Supporting Israel definitely seems to be my call.
However, it hasn’t been all rosey. I received a personal visit from one of my very closest personal demons the other night. This may be more than soem want to know about me, in which case, you can just delete this email now.
Anyway, I’m sure few will be shocked to know I’ve never had any really close friends. The fault rests with me, and I’m slooooowly getting past that. However, the demon that keeps attacking keeps hitting me in one of my weakest places: my fear of spending the rest of my life alone.
Now, I’m not talking marriage, as I fully believe that isn’t for everyone. However, as I was hanging out with my friend Erin (a CFI volunteer) on Monday, her relationship with her best friend picked at that wound. As I lay in bed that night, I kept having nagging thoughts such as, “you’ll never have a relatioship with anyone like that,” and my personal favorite, “why even continue? your pathetic life is as good as you can ever hope to have.”
Sad and selfish? Absolutely. However, the Adversary knows this weakness of mine well. Needless to say, I was on the verge of tears when I woke up (as if I got any sleep to begin with).
Am I giving up? Absolutely not! This fear has crippled me on more than one occassion, and it won’t again! After a chat with Erin over dinner, I’ve realized that Israel is where God is calling me. Will that fear go away just because I’m here? I doubt it. The chances of me sitting at home doing nothing during my downtime here are just as good as when I’m in Colorado. However, I have to follow God.
So, if you’re inclined, I need prayer for funding, what to tell my family, and exacly which ministry to get involved with here. I’m still very scared. I feel like Indiana Jones about to step out on the invisible bridge, but I can no longer just stand on the side.
Well, I have to get back to work!